How do you keep the momentum going? I vacillate so much on my work in progress and it doesn't take much to trigger the double-headed dragon of Self-Doubt and Procrastination into action.

So what triggered this week's reappearance of the debilitating dragon?

I read one sentence in The Sydney Morning Herald with a book title to be released in a few months that sounded oddly familiar, oddly like 'Beyond Happily Ever After.'  But the first word was missing and there was a question mark at the end. So I googled it with the author's name and came upon the order form. On the third page of the order form, the title was sitting right next to Erica Hayes' Shadowglass (of which I won an ARC on Twitter from Pan Macmillan during the week -woohoo!) and the concept of this other book also sounds very similar to mine: what happens to the girl after she marries her handsome prince. Though it does not appear to use actual fairytale characters as I have.

But it gave me reason to pause.

Then Jenny Crusie blogged about herself and Krissie and Lani making collages of their next collaboration which will feature Cinderella (oh-oh!), Rapunzel and Red Riding Hood.  Sounds fabulous and their collages are superb.

But then my dragon fully came to life and kept bellowing flames at me 'I'm not worthy!'  And just to prove it, I did minimal editing last week.

Last night, I came across another blog post from by Mary Danielson: "Your Book is Different".  Mary had a similar experience very recently and ended up listing a number of reasons why  her book is different to the one that had been listed in the publishing deals.

So I will do the same:

Beyond Happily Ever After is different to the one to be released in May, and the collaboration because:

1.  it is a unique twist of fairytale that combines Cinderella and Snow White's stories as they have married princes who are cousins.
2. it combines old world fairy tale aspects along with modern life and looks at what it may be like to be a princess today
3. started life as a short story which was published in <a href="http://www.wetink.com" target="_blank">Wet Ink</a> magazine - have already acquired a fanbase, who are waiting for the rest of Cindy's story
4. I have a unique voice
5. I have received excellent and very encouraging feedback in contests
6. I loved writing this manuscript and people are going to love reading the book (though I know some of its themes are going to mean it's not everybody's cup of tea)\
7. there are other fairytale re-imaginings already published - one or two, more will help rather than hinder others getting published
8. my manuscript WILL be out on submission by the time this other book comes out in May
9. My imagination is very very twisted
10. Twisted fairytales may become the new vampires
    

I feel better already. I bought a Disney scrapbook with Cinderella on the front and Snow White on the back to collage the story. (plan to do the collage in chronological order which is not how the story appears - mmm, that may be another point of difference) and I have been making red marks on printouts of the pages.

But thinking about this, authors who write vampire stories must come across this all the time. Someone beating them to the punch with a similar idea. And they keep writing.

I still have total faith in my retelling of Cinderella. Besides, the story is complete and I only have about 30 pages left to edit. It would be very silly to give up now just because someone else is publishing something similar.

So it's back to caging the dragons, ignoring the self-doubt and declaring myself worthy and UNIQUE. And back to editing.  I WILL  finish editing this story by the end of February! MY Cinderella has a ball to go to.

When I started writing seriously again, I never claimed to be writing romance.  I said I was writing relationship stories and when I started reading chick lit, the genre completely clicked with me.  In chick lit, there were heroines I could relate to, going through real-life issues, and trying to find their place in the world. Not necessarily trying to land a man, though that could be part of it, but going through a journey of self-discovery through career, friends etc.

My writing voice has a very distinctive chick lit edge. My heroines have flaws, are not always self-assured but often have a wicked sense of humour. For many stories, the main character discovered who she was through creativity – whether it was photography, art, music.  The creativity was a major part of her journey to self-awareness.  But at the same time, she would always end up with a guy at the end. It wasn’t always clear whether the guy would be Mr Right – perhaps he was just ‘Mr Right-for-Now’ and the ‘happily ever after’ was a ‘happy for now’ ending.

A few years ago, I joined Romance Writers of Australia – I don’t write conventional romance, but  it is the closest genre to what I do write, and I’ve found a wonderful community of writers in RWAus.

But I’m facing up to the fact that I am never going to write conventional romance – the one man/one woman stories which are almost solely about striving for a romantic relationship. I could never write category romance – the focus is too narrow – when I love lots of characters, parallel or contrasting sub-plots, and the general interference of reality. I shudder at the thought of  secret babies and so far not one of my characters has unintentionally fallen pregnant.  But I must admit, I do love the ‘pretend relationship’ trope, and have even used it in my real life, and like the contrast: ‘the secret relationship’ (and admit I’ve also done that in my real life.)

For a while I tried to convince myself that I was writing romance – after all, the girl always got the guy in the end. Even if I hadn’t intended to end it that way. But after entering romance competitions for several years, and polarising my judges on more than one occasion, I’ve decided that my writing is too far outside the ‘romance’ box for the conventional romance readers/judges to get it.

Reality Check was given a severe slap on the wrist by all three judges because the 29 y.o hero slept with the 19 y.o heroine on the first date.  And yet without  that as part of the set-up, what would it matter if they then sign a contract that forbids them from sleeping with each other?  And hello, first dates sometimes do end up in bed together on the first date in real life.

I’ve been told that polarising judges is a sign of a fresh voice, but while I’m buoyed by the comments from the higher-scoring judges, and find some value in the constructive feedback of the lower-scoring judges (and find it very bizarre that lower-scoring judges can give some fantastic comments and then mark you with a low score), I’m done with contests.  I don’t want to pay money out to have judges who don’t get my writing. As Jenny Crusie would say, ‘not my readers’.

Instead, I’m concentrating on making my writing the best it can be, telling the stories I want to tell (and not being boxed by a convention) and improving my writing craft.  I’ll be enrolling in online courses, applying what I learn to my works in progress and submitting to agents.

I’ll no longer be entering competitions that are defined by genre, and instead will step into the bigger competition – the real world of publishing. Wish me luck!

(this post transferred from Write on Track blog)

It's January 31 which brings me to the end of Margie Lawson's fabulous Defeating Self-Defeating Behaviors online course.

So did I slay my dragons?

Yes and no.

You see these are the kind of dragons that resurrect themselves.  SELF-DOUBT can make a new appearance when I'm faced with a new opportunity, a request, an offer of a critique.  And then his other head PROCRASTINATION makes another appearance offering solace.

For now, these dragons are caged in the corner, and I've hung a large sign at the front that says "DO NOT FEED THE DRAGONS"

So when these dragons appear in my life, I will laugh at them, I will not listen them, I will jump in do what I need to do, armed with my Winner List and my Superstar List.  They may breath fire, but they are big and bulky and I can outrun them, as long as I keep acting on my goals and moving forward.

I've learned so much during the last four weeks and I have Margie to thank, and my fabulous change coach Lesley to thank, along with a bunch of amazing classmates who were willing to battle their dragons and share their insights.

My fellow We Love YA blogster, Natalie Hatch, made me a hula hoop in November last year. Putting Margie's DUH theory into practice, hula-hooping is now a daily part of my life and I can proudly say I can hula hoop, though no tricks yet. But at the beginning of the month, I could barely keep the hoop spinning, so the tricks will come soon.

I cannot recommend Margie's course highly enough. Although the course is offered online only once a year, you can visit her website and buy the lecture pack. Better still, buddy up with a friend to be your change coach, and do the course together.

Margie also offers some fantastic courses in editing. The next course is Empowering Characters' Emotions held online in March through PASIC, and Nat and I have already enrolled.  Take that, you Self-Doubt/Procrastination dragon.   Ooh, I just stabbed him in the belly. He's not looking too happy at the moment. Mastering the craft aspect of writing (and editing) may make him redundant. He might have to find someone else to hassle.

I just remembered: when I turned 27, I had a 7 year old birthday party and we played kids games all afternoon. My mum made me a dragon cake - he was gorgeous.

But this was only a year or two before  I did a life-changing self-development course, met my partner, lost my mum and decided to pursue writing seriously. Perhaps the cake was a symbol of the dragons I was going to have to face.But then again, that cake got cut up and eaten and he was delicious. Maybe that's how I need to treat all my dragons from now on.

(turns to look at cage).  Mmm, SELF-DOUBT dragon, I'm hoping you taste like chocolate.