As it’s the penultimate day of January (and less than an hour to go of that), I’ve decided it’s time to look at just what I achieved in January – somehow keeping me accountable to the goals that I set, and discover some achievements that I hadn’t dared to set.

I started the month repeating Margie Lawson‘s Defeat Self-Defeating Behaviours Course. After the rollercoaster ride of last year, I’d lost a grip on my DSDB toolbox. Not only had I lost the key but I seemed to have misplaced the toolbox completely. Very hard to use the tools when they’ve been banished to the back of your mind. Very early into the course, Margie talked about the negative spiral, and it summed up the last 6 months of 2010.  Then when my beautiful fur-friend left me, I found myself spiralling even more. I could deal with practical stuff like getting my car fixed and paying bills, but anything creative I just didn’t want to know about.

For the week after I said goodbye to Dorkus, I sat at my laptop, playing Bejewelled Blitz and crying endlessly. Then once that game had a grip on me, I kept playing…and playing…and playing, not even realising I’d fallen to the bottom of the chasm.

One good thing I managed to do during that time: I entered Beyond Happily Ever After into RWAus’ STALI contest (Single Title and Loving It).  I finalled, which almost managed to pull me out of the spiral. It was very exciting, and during Nanowrimo, I managed to write new words, but not 50ks worth. The results are finally in: Cindy came 6th in the contest, and it was a pleasure sharing the podium with my fellow writers.

So…back to January (because I really do not want to dwell on 2010) – Margie’s mention of the negative spiral resonated with me, and I knew that’s where I’d been, and that’s where I would continue if I didn’t take control. I wiped Bejewelled Blitz and a couple of other games off Facebook. I now delete any mention of them from my feeds when friend’s scores pop up.  When a friend starts playing a new game I hide all posts about that game from my feed, so I will not be lured away from what needs to be done.

I slayed the dragon of procrastination. He tries to take other forms, and sometimes I succumb, but I no longer succumb to the games on Facebook.

My dragon is two-headed:

One head is self-doubt, and the other is procrastination.  They egg each other on.  And they lead to my negative spiral.  I don’t want to feed them anymore. The picture above is now stuck on my wall with big bold letters ‘Don’t Feed the Dragon!!!!’

I also gave the self-doubt dragon a couple of fierce jabs during the month. I refused to let him breathe fire when I received the final judgments for the contest. I worked through the comments, and accepted what I needed to, and let go of the comments that I did not believe, and my beta-readers’ feedback contradicted.

But the biggest jab to my self-doubt dragon came with a trip to Ballarat, to train a new team for work (all strangers). Strange town, strange people, travelling alone for work.  A huge leap out of my comfort zone.

It was still daylight when I arrived so I wandered around the town to get my bearings.  In just a short walk I passed 3 bookstores and 2 chocolate shops — already it was looking like my kind of town.  And the historical buildings are incredible.

But alas, an intimate acquaintance of Ballarat was not to be.  This time.

I turned up to the training on Monday and by lunchtime I’d received the news that I’d be flying back home  the following day.  Due to the floods, my new team was more urgently needed in a different capacity.

With just one night left in Ballarat, I had no idea what I wanted to eat and I was surprised to find so many restaurants open. I settled for a drink in Craig’s Royal Hotel (the first photo), followed by a takeaway pizza. Hopefully, I will have the opportunity to return to Ballarat, explore more of the town and do the ghost tour.

My goal list has been a little skewed by the flood situation. I’ve been spending a lot of extra hours at work, and I’m not sure when that will change.  So I need to priorities and make sure that I set goals each day that fit into the time I have available.  Which means that the goals I set at the beginning of the year are out of reach for now.  But that’s okay.

And I will give myself a visual cognitive kick: A reminder of Beyond Happily Ever After, and to put my writing first! Do I dare defy the command of a Prince? Especially one as sexy as Prince Henry here:

Today I made myself a ‘Write to Go’ bag:

Looking forward to getting this one!

While I was there, I cleaned up a whole section of the shop by reloading a cleaner ‘writer’s mantra’ image, and added the ‘write to go’ section. It was constructive procrastination, much better than the destructive procrastination I’d engaged in so often.

And last week, I  joined a belly-dancing class. Something I’ve wanted to try for a long time. It feels totally unco, but that’s okay – I’m having fun and getting exercise.

So that’s January for me: almost done and dusted. And now I have the keys to the toolbox and I even know where the toolbox is.

No more feeding dragons.

I revisited last year’s goals and realised I liked what I saw, even though personal circumstances derailed me completely.

So I will restructure these goals for 2011:

DAILY

• Hula hoop  (thanks to Natalie Hatch and You Tube, I can actually keep the thing spinning)
  
• Do something writerly for a minimum of half an hour every day. Write new words, rewrite old words, edit, tinker, synopsise, plan, plot, outline, query, collage, give my characters the 3rd degree – as long as it’s writing related and related to my writing. This relates to my post at RWA  Please fit your own Oxygen Mask first

WEEKLY

• I commit myself to making a mess once a week and creating a collage poem.  Not committing to cleaning up the mess.

• Blog at least weekly here at Write on Track, and on Sundays at We Love YA.

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PROJECT GOALS



Beyond Happily Ever After to be edited, polished and submitted to agents/publishers until Cindy finds a home. (and don’t stress while anxiously waiting for Cindy’s STALI competition results)

Diary of the Future to be edited, polished and submitted until it finds a home (agents and publishers)

Making the Cut to be submitted to publishers.

Collage Poetry Anthology to be produced by end of November.

GENERAL GOALS

• Be a good change coach!
• Be a good crit partner.
• Make time to be social!  As the Avenue Q song goes, ‘there is life outside your apartment’

Other writer events:
Learn as much about editing as possible and apply the learning. Do online courses (Margie Lawson)  that facilitate this.

I will attend Byron Bay Writers Festival again. (yes, it’s a ritual).

And this year, I will attend the Romance Writers of Australia conference in Melbourne. The plane tickets are already booked. The long service leave is booked.

My writing mantra for 2009  WRITE EDIT SUBMIT has been rewritten for the new decade as I’ve done enough new writing just for the moment.
In 2010 I planned to   REWRITE EDIT SUBMIT. Ad Infinitum. But instead my life went through some massive changes. Now that I’m on the other side of that, I can recommit to the REWRITE EDIT SUBMIT and seeing my writing projects through to completion.

But my main goal for 2011 is to enjoy life, reach out when I need to and make the most of every opportunity!

And to fit my oxygen mask first.

Happy New Year everyone.